Naked in Newark

Getting ready to enter the hot steam room at King Spa

When I said I needed a massage and where could I go, Yuki said right away, “let’s go to King Spa in New Jersey. I think you’ll like it, it’s a Korean spa with different saunas and there is a good food." She knows that the food part is important to me and a good allure.

Next thing, we were running to catch the shuttle on Saturday morning in Korea town, the specific spot being where there is the Dunkin Donuts. When we got there, there was already a line-up forming of mostly Asian people. The people waiting were squished into a small white shuttle, which was more of a van, with the young woman beside me saying she was holding on with one cheek, and she didn’t mean those on her face. We had a good laugh about that. She said it’s a short ride and worth it.  We both laughed and I couldn’t stop thinking of her hanging on with one cheek.

We arrived at King’s Spa in the Korean town of New Jersey, which was even bigger, then the one on 32^nd that I love. It’s quite the non descript large white complex.  Upon check in at King Spa, we were given electronic wrist bands that open up a locker to store your things, and allows you to spend throughout the day without worrying about carrying cash. You are also given up a roll up with two towels and a large one size fits all t-shirt and shorts, which reminded me of being in prison, except they were pink, or being back in gym class in my public school where I had to wear rompers or generic gym clothing so as not to be too enticing to the opposite sex during gym class. The men were given white t-shirt and shorts.

One of the sauna caves

Inside one of the sauna caves with bags of mineral salts hanging

In the common areas, which are sprawling, all you can see is mostly pink and some white uniforms. This is where there are most of the saunas, which are different small caves with various properties, which are supposed to heal and calm you, from gold and herbs, to mineral salt, tea and infrared.

The one that intrigued and scared me the most my friends said was the hottest sauna and had warning signs all over it not to go in with medical conditions and such and a video in Korean of what it’s like inside, which looked like some short of torture chamber. A short elderly woman would hold the rope to the door and let people in and out in shifts, and the people going in and out had burlap bags covering them and some of them had cloths over their heads. What the hell I thought?! My friends asked if I wanted to try it. Well, I thought “no” and my mind started going crazy. What if it got too hot, what if I couldn’t breathe, what if I couldn’t get out easily? My friend Rudi said it’s his favourite and said, “Let’s go!” Before I could say “no”, I was following my friends, trying to find a burlap bag in some bins to put around me, and waiting for the women at the door so we could run in.  And in we went into the inferno!

Hottest steam room at King Spa

Showing you the eggs that are cooked at the hottest steam room at King Spa

Inside it was dark and there were a few dozen people sitting around, most with burlap bags covering them. It was the strangest way to be in the company of people, all quiet, twitching from the heat, and heating up or should I say burning up.

Then all of a sudden, the door opened and in came a man covered head to toe in dark clothing with rubber boots and thick rubber gloves, carrying a large empty box. What?!  He reached for the cartons of eggs high up on a ledge in the dome, there were about 12 cartons on each side of the dome, and he put them in the box, and then left.  What?!

I was so mesmerized by this, that I didn’t realize that my legs were heating up so much from the floor that I was having difficulty sitting, and I wondered how long I could take it. I was relieved when my friends left shortly afterwards, and followed them. I didn’t want to seem chicken but then again I didn’t want to fry either, a fine balance!

When we got out, I asked my friends about the eggs. We returned our burlap bags and they asked if I wanted to try some? What? They heat up the eggs for a few minutes, and bring them to sell right away in the juice bar beside it.  We had some with our juices, and they were incredibly hot to peel, hard boiled and delicious. We started to wonder out loud if these eggs were hard boiled in a short time then what about our insides? How long would it take for them to get hard boiled or burn? We looked at each other and I didn’t want to give it much more thought than that because thinking that we could have fried our brains in there wasn’t a pleasant thought. Many people go into the ice cave after that, but it reminded me too much of being at home so I wasn’t eager to do that.  Instead we relaxed a bit and then tried other caves like the mineral salt one with bags of salts hanging from the dome. It was fairly warm but nothing as hot as the hottest one we had been into. I could actually lie down on one of the mats and relax.

The difference from most spas I’ve been to is that there are both sexes but mostly women, a variety of ages but more teenagers upward, no children. There are a lot of areas for different forms of entertainment, from playing mahjong and chess, to desks where you could use computers. There are also areas where you can lounge, or most people sleep, in comfy lounge chairs and either there was a Korean movie playing or sports like golf, and this is where most of the men were hanging out.  Surprised?

One of the most popular areas is the eating area. There are a variety of Korean dishes to choose from. I selected my dish… veg bibimbap and all the side dishes that come with it and I love about Korean food… swiped my wrist band so they could record the payment and I was given a buzzer for when it was ready for pick up. It was quite the military-like operation run by a team of women who were hard working and stern.  The food was plentiful and yummy!

Eating area at King Spa

Waiting for my buzzer to go for lunch

bibimbap at King Spa

In the women’s change room, there is one area where you put on your jail clothing, as I called it, and there is an other area that is mandatory nude and you are not allowed to bring in towels, well the small one but it’s not to cover up your body being no bigger than a dish cloth, more for washing and covering your head. This is area for showering and you can go into the hot tubs and wet sauna.

I waited nude in the hot tub for what my friend Yuki called a wet massage and scrub, which she loves and I was looking forward to as my body and mind needed relaxing. I was surprised to see some women running around in black bras and underwear and I wondered who they were and why they were allowed to wear some clothing. When my name was called and one of these women ran up to me to follow her, I quickly figured out that these women were the massage therapists.

I was taken to an open area with about six tables covered in heavy pink plastic. The woman knew no English except to say things loudly and firmly like “lie face up.” Ok, I thought, now what? Well she started throwing warm water on me with pails. Ok, good thing I didn’t have my mouth open I thought. Next she brought out the loofa and scrubbed me all over like a baby but not with baby strokes, it felt more like with rough sandpaper and she was doing home renovations. You can’t be shy with this as she goes all over the body, telling you in broken English, “go on side”, “move leg up”, “turn around” or would push my body part firmly to where she wanted it to go.

To be honest, it was kind of excruciatingly painful at times and I almost wanted her to stop and other times it was almost bearable, but I wouldn’t say it was pleasurable and fun, unless you want to know what it feels like to be a piece of furniture that is being stripped of paint, and in my case, old debris and cells. Most of the time, I tried to close my eyes and keep them covered with a small towel because I didn’t want to look at this women in her bra and underwear scrubbing my body hard like she was in the body washing Olympics or look at the others beside me being cleaned in various positions and acting as if this was nothing out of the ordinary.

At one point, she put on a face mask made from fresh cucumbers she grated on the spot, and that was nice, along with a scalp massage that was almost relaxing. It was a welcome relief from the pain. At one point, she told me to go to the shower to take off the cream on my face and debris, and go into the steam room for five minutes. Rest alas! Just when I was enjoying the calm and thinking what would be next, the woman, I don’t even know her name, with the black underwear and bra, opened the steam room door and motioned me to follow her.

Ok round two, more warm water thrown on me like I was in the bow of a boat, and here was the fun part, the massage. Not the usual relaxing massage experience I’m used to with dark lights and candles, soft music and the firm but gentle hands of the masseuse. Instead you get bright lights overhead, tables beside you with other people nude and being cleaned or massaged, lots of loud voices of people talking in the background as this is a fairly open area, and the sound of scrubbing and water being thrown on your neighbours. And then there is a woman in the black underwear and bra kneading you firmly and everywhere, taking out any knots and sometimes it feels like some skin too.  Again, I heard no crying or in pain so I assumed I was being a wuss, and I shut up and tried to enjoy the ride. It was ok at times, but for the most part, I would be lulled into a false sense of security, and then it would hurt again.

At one point, she told me to sit up, did a few slaps on my back and then it was over. “Ok thank you,” I said sheepishly and left. I felt beaten up and exhausted.

I put on my pink uniform and went to find a lounge chair and fell asleep for what seemed a long time, and each time I tried to get up, I couldn’t. I felt like I was drugged and each time I would wake up I would see different people before me or beside me. A young Korean couple beside me holding hands, eating hot sauna eggs, and watching a Korean movie on the laptop together, young men in front of me  on their phones texting, elderly women fast asleep, friends playing mahjong, and me.  I realized this was like a community centre of sorts, where people could hang out for the day, with family and friends.

King Spa is open 24 hours, so if you had a stopover in NYC or Newark, instead of getting an expensive hotel room, I wondered if you could just come here and relax instead?  Or if you finished a late shift at a restaurant, this might be just the thing to relax and unwind. Or if want to get rid of some dead skin cells, get kneaded, have water thrown on you, and have bibimbab or bulgogi with kimchee afterwards, this is the place for you! 

At one point, I thought it was probably time to find my friends, so that gave me the motivation to get up from my comfy lounge chair.  Yuki asked me how it was, she looking as tired as me. I was too shy and tired to tell her much. I said it was good but kind of painful. She has this water massage and scrub often and she loves it, it is not painful at all to her, so two different people and experiences.

I have to say, my skin is baby soft, my hair silky smooth, the knots and stress in my body gone, my digestion and body feeling better than it has all week, I had a great sleep, and I am kind of curious about trying it all over again, but not soon.  I have to grow some new skin cells first.