I think I'm turning Japanese

It’s May 11 and over two weeks since I have been in Tokyo. I am sitting in one of my favourite Starbucks in the hood, and someone said there are more Starbucks than noodle houses and I would have to agree. Like back home, it’s a common meeting place and there is free Wi-Fi, which is often hard to get in the city and not a given in one of the most connected cities in the world.

How do I feel after two weeks? I am turning Japanese, I really think so. And this is not just because I am consuming an incredible amount of Japanese food into my body and am immersed in Japanese life, but this is part of it. The thing is that I feel that I have had a long hunger for this food, and I can’t stop eating it or thinking about it.  The more I eat, the more I want. I believe this is because it goes beyond to feeding my hunger, it feeds my soul. Japanese is my soul food.

I am fascinated by how food can trigger memories that lay on the surface and deep down below the surface. Being here and seeing, smelling and tasting an incredible array of Japanese cuisine, brings back fond memories of growing up with this type of food when I was a child and reminds me of my mother who adored Japanese food. While she passed away over 25 years ago, it’s almost like she is here with me and I can hear her voice, encouraging me to try something because it’s oishii (tasty) or to be sure to buy this or that because you can’t get it at home.

Beyond nourishing me, the food here comforts me, makes me happy, and makes me feel like I am home and I don’t mean in a physical way because I have been in Canada all of my life. Being in Japan, reminds me where my roots come from and how deep they go. I feel I have some sort of connection here to the people. Of course you do you may be thinking because I look Japanese. It’s more complicated than that. While I know I have features that look like the people here and can understand them in some ways, I also feel like an impostor and I am not like them.

I am a third-generation Japanese Canadian and because my grandfather made the bold move to come over to Canada from Kobe to BC in the early 1900s, I am Canadian first and foremost. My first language is English and competing for second place is French and Japanese.

So where do I stand you may wonder being Japanese-looking but with blondish hair. Last time I came to Japan, I melded in much more and this time people don’t know what I am and give me a curious look at times. I guess their first reaction is to consider me a foreigner than one of them and that is probably more accurate as I am somewhere between the two. I  can understand Japanese about 75% and can speak it about 50%, thanks to my mom who put me through Japanese language school, took me to Japan and spoke to me in Japanese when I was a child, especially when she was angry.

When I was a child, I desperately wanted to fit into the classroom and didn’t want to be different so I thought I was being cool by replying back in English to my mom. However, this leaves me today being a bit stuck when I need to speak Japanese as the words are in my mind but don't come out of my mouth very easily. But with each taste of Japanese food and life, the words are coming out more and more easily, and I am turning Japanese.